she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize