I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
