Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
