Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
PANTIES FOUND
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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