Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
