That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
