you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
