im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
