You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize