i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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