is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
