phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
