Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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