how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
