Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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