There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
