Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
