at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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