Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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