I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
