I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
