I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
