i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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