Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
