Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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