I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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