Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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