We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
