I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
