Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
