OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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