Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
