they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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