Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize