i love accidental penises.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
