I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
