Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
