I just made out with a guy for $7.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
