Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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