Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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