right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
