She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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