Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
