Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We are all done wearing pants today
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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