He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
