i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
