It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
