You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
