i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
