Please, let me fuck your mom
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I intend to get homeless drunk
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize