Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
