Having a random hookup so left but love u
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
