I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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