At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
