Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
