I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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