Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
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