I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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